I Married the Dragon I Killed [Novel] Chapter 261

Chapter 261: Luri’s Return (Illustration)

Ferda’s consciousness receded into darkness.

When he opened his eyes again, he saw the office he had been sitting in atop the magic circle.

He had returned to reality.

‘It seems the exploration ended normally.’

Perhaps because it had been so long since he last felt that kind of peace, his mind felt unusually clear.

He only hoped the Deep Projection had proven as effective as the tranquility he had experienced.

Ferda turned toward Erika.

She had moved away from his side and seemed lost in thought.

She had definitely found something.

“Is it over?”

“Yes.”

“Will you tell me what you found?”

“……”

Erika did not answer easily.

Ferda studied her expression again.

“…What exactly happened?”

She was afraid of something.

After hesitating for a long time, Erika finally spoke.

“Regent Ferda.”

“Yes.”

“You know humans cannot casually speak of dragons, correct?”

“Of course. Dragons make examples in blood whenever someone crosses that line.”

“Then did you also know that there are things dragons are forbidden from interfering with when it comes to humans?”

That was new to him.

“As a rule, dragons do not interfere with myths created by humans. Evil Dragons and Guardian Dragons alike observe that rule.”

“What do you mean?”

“Take something like the Alte Faith, which worships the sun. Have dragons ever challenged humans over that belief?”

They had not.

Even those arrogant dragons never dared prevent someone from worshiping a god.

“The reason is that some of the beings humans worship truly exist.”

“……”

“The most representative example is the existence associated with the moon, an Outer God called Sierra.”

“An Outer God…?”

“Beings that did not originate during Creation itself, but entered after the world’s order had already been established. The most representative examples are the Sun and the Moon, the beings now called Alte and Sierra.”

“I see.”

Why was she telling him this now?

“I will stop with the background and give you the conclusion. Regent Ferda… you are the child of the being we call the Outer God Sierra.”

Ferda could not hide his shock.

“Then the being I thought merely wore the form of my mother…”

“She truly was your mother. And she was also Sierra, an Outer God.”

Erika pressed a hand to her head.

“But that is not the real problem. Considering how long dragons have lived, children born of gods are actually more common than one might think.”

“Then…”

“Regent… you have lived far longer than we thought.”

Ferda’s heart sank.

Had she finally realized the truth?

That he had killed Baldrova and returned to the past?

“To be precise, you are both a descendant of Sierra and a reincarnator.”

A reincarnator.

That was quite different from someone who had traveled backward through time.

Erika recalled everything she had witnessed inside Ferda.

The stone statue of Baldrova that could only have been carved over a vast span of time.

Sierra’s words about throwing his soul into the swamp of oblivion and rolling it through malice, yet still failing to make him forget what he desired.

“All of it… can only be explained if you are the reincarnation of someone.”

“Is… that so?”

Ferda felt a quiet unease.

“Then do you also know whose reincarnation I am?”

“……”

Ferda had never seen Erika make that expression before.

She was looking at him with awe.

Her next answer made it clear why she was afraid.

Even Ferda himself was frightened by the words leaving her mouth.

“Based on the information I was able to gather, Regent… you are the reincarnation of Godwin.”

Who could calmly tell someone that he was the reincarnation of Godwin, the dragon once called the worst Calamity Dragon in history?

“That would explain how you became so strong, and how you have been able to use powers that let you escape otherwise impossible crises.”

Ferda fell silent.

Erika could not speak either.

No consolation would fit.

No convenient words could smooth over what had just been said.

All she could do was wait for Ferda to finish thinking and speak first.

“You had no idea until now?”

“You do not possess an Essence, Regent. Unless someone went as deeply into you as I just did, no one would ever have been able to guess what you truly were.”

Ferda felt dazed.

He did not want to continue discussing that subject, so he asked something else.

“Was that all you managed to discover?”

“Yes…”

“Will you tell the others what I am?”

“No.”

Erika answered without hesitation.

“If you were still Godwin, the god of demons who sought to destroy everything, perhaps I would. But you are not.”

“……”

“You are simply Baldrova’s lover, and the regent of a Grand Duchy. That is the Ferda Baldrova I know.”

Ferda looked at Erika and said,

“And yet you still cannot rid yourself of your fear.”

“……”

She could not deny it.

Erika knew what kind of being Godwin had been. She was a living witness who had experienced him herself.

Godwin was the Aspect of Darkness and the Void, a traitor to the continent who had tried to return everything to nothingness.

When Erika had once faced him, merely becoming aware of Godwin’s existence had been enough to overwhelm her.

“…I need time.”

“I understand.”

Ferda needed time too.

Erika quietly left, while Ferda remained seated, staring blankly at a single point.

Whenever he tried to think, the truth felt impossible to accept, and he stopped before he could begin.

Then he felt a small tug against his clothes.

When he turned, Mori was looking up at him.

“Is there something you wish to say?”

She quietly wrote on the floor.

-According to recorded history, Godwin was a being of chaos who attempted to plunge the world into chaos.

“……”

-The degree of similarity between Godwin’s deeds and Ferda Baldrova’s achievements is 0.001%.

“Are you trying to tell me that I am not Godwin?”

Mori quietly nodded.

Was that all she wanted to tell him?

Or had she wanted to comfort him after noticing his dejection?

Could a Slave Sage without an ego empathize with another person and offer comfort?

Perhaps she was simply giving him information she believed he needed to hear.

“Thank you.”

Ferda stroked Mori’s head.

Normally, Mori would close her eyes and savor the touch.

This time, however, her eyes remained fixed on Ferda.

They almost seemed to say she knew her reassurance had not been enough.

Ferda was not Godwin.

But Ferda still could not shake his unease.

Ferda loved Baldrova.

For her sake, he would do anything.

-Look closely, Baldrova.

Even if it meant his own death.

-This is what it looks like when everything you wanted to protect disappears.

Godwin must surely have felt the same way.

* * *

Luri took a deep breath and opened her eyes.

She was inside a dark room.

Something stood before her.

-Sisteeeer…

The shape of a small child engulfed in flames.

The child wept and screamed with resentment.

-Why… why did you let me go?

Luri bit down hard on her lips.

It was unbearably painful, but she did not look away.

“I’m sorry…”

Luri faced her regret head-on.

“I’ll never… let something like that happen again.”

Then she swung her axe into the boy’s head.

The image of the child that had tormented her collapsed into a lump of flesh.

It was a creature known as Trauma.

That made ten Traumas she had killed.

Luri could now say with confidence that no matter what mental attack a Trauma used against her, she would be able to break free quickly.

The door to the training hall opened.

An elderly man stood beyond it.

Lance Silverwind.

“At last, you can overcome it, Luri.”

“Thank you, Lance.”

“Your movements have become more fluid than before as well. You have reached a level where the title of Captain of Silverwing no longer brings you shame.”

Lance Silverwind smiled warmly.

For several weeks, Luri had remained in Eisenfels, the fortress of the Silverwinds, undergoing special training.

‘Special training, huh.’

She had never expected anything like this.

When Luri first came to Eisenfels, she had believed there were only two possible outcomes.

Defeat Goz.

Or die.

So she provoked Goz and fought him.

Goz did not suppress Luri with the authority of Silverwind.

He fought her purely with the skill of a warrior.

After ten minutes of exchanging blows, the result was decided.

It was devastating.

Luri could not defeat him.

She knew what fate awaited children of Silverwind who challenged authority.

Luri calmly accepted that future.

But Goz did not kill her.

The reason was simple.

-How can someone call herself a warrior when she lacks the courage to take her own life and instead walks into certain death hoping someone else will do it for her?

He had spoken as though the possibility of losing to her had never once crossed his mind.

Luri had been unable to swallow her humiliation.

-I will give you a chance to cast away your weakness.

Goz took Luri somewhere else.

A training room where she had once been beaten and driven into the ground until she was sick of the place.

Inside waited a demonic creature.

A Trauma.

-If you are tired of merely suffering, then face it and break it. Prove yourself as a warrior.

That proof had been painful.

Luri confronted the Traumas again and again, fainting repeatedly and trembling in fear.

Yet she did not resent the pain.

Her entire life had been filled with such things.

And she knew very well what always came from them.

Pain that failed to kill her had always made her stronger.

In the end, she faced the regrets buried inside herself and even learned how to overcome them.

“Goz is waiting for you. Go speak with him.”

“…Yes.”

Her heart sank.

Luri had no idea what he intended to tell her, and vague dread pressed down upon her.

She changed into neat clothes and headed for the audience chamber.

Goz sat upon the throne.

“Finished?”

As always, he did not meet her eyes.

Luri answered.

“Yes.”

“Do you still need Lord Silverwind’s power?”

“……”

“I thought so. You understand even without me telling you how shameful that choice would be.”

Goz snorted.

Luri chewed her lip before finally asking,

“What… do you intend to do with me now?”

“What do you mean?”

“You showed this much favor to someone who is no longer family. There must be a reason. Haven’t I earned the right to hear it now?”

“You misunderstand something.”

Goz rested his chin on his fist as he answered.

“I simply disliked seeing a warrior I created behaving so pathetically. I did not wish to leave behind a blemish.”

“Then…”

“What happens next depends on your choice. Remain here, or return to that place.”

Luri thought again after hearing those words.

If the choice was truly hers, then the answer was obvious.

“Then… I will return.”

“If you go back there, you will only suffer again.”

“Does that matter to you, Lord Goz?”

“You are precious.”

Luri’s eyes widened.

“At a time when every person carrying Lord Silverwind’s blood has become precious, losing even one would be wasteful.”

Her expectations lasted only a moment.

Right.

Of course.

Goz Silverwind.

The man who had stood closer to Silverwind than almost anyone else.

A warrior among warriors, infamous for his cold blood.

And the man who had been more cruel to Luri than anyone.

Yet even so, Luri could not restrain the emotion welling inside her at those words.

“I don’t understand.”

Like a girl undergoing an overdue adolescence, she began pouring out every question she had kept buried.

“What don’t you understand?”

“Didn’t you say I was no longer family?”

“……”

“You said I had nowhere to return to. Then why are you helping me?”

“……”

“If you hate me enough to wish me dead, why would you do all this for me…”

“Luri Silverwind.”

Goz cut her off.

“Helping you does not mean you are allowed to whine.”

“……”

“Since when have descendants of Silverwind ever had something called a conversation?”

That finally silenced her.

Luri rubbed her chest and forced her emotions back under control.

“My apologies. I overstepped. Only Lord Silverwind ever showed warmth…”

Luri decided not to question Goz’s motives any further.

There was only one fact that mattered.

Goz had helped her overcome her weakness.

He had always been like that.

“Please remain in good health…”

Luri turned and left the castle.

Goz did not watch her go.

He merely poured alcohol into his cup in silence.

At last, when she left the fortress and became a silver comet disappearing into the distance, a voice broke the silence.

“You truly intend to let her leave like that?”

The speaker was Lance Silverwind.

He was the eldest among Silverwind’s descendants.

Even Goz, who had taken Silverwind’s Essence, did not dare treat him carelessly and showed him proper respect.

“What would you have me do?”

“At the very least, you should correct the misunderstanding that child carries.”

Goz looked into his cup.

His reflection stared back.

A harsh face covered in scars, unmistakably that of a warrior.

At the same time, his past began to reflect within it.

Long ago, there had been a kingdom.

Its king had been foolish enough to insult a dragon.

For that single statement, an entire castle had vanished before anyone could even resist.

The castle was reduced to ruins.

Silverwind’s descendants searched the wreckage for survivors.

The death of the foolish king alone was not enough.

Every survivor within had to be killed, so the kingdom could serve as an example.

Goz took part in that work.

And there, he found a little girl.

Goz looked down at her.

Then he leveled his spear at her throat.

For a mere mortal child, the only mercy he could offer was a quick death.

Even if she survived in those ruins, nothing but suffering awaited her.

Then the girl grabbed the spearhead.

He had assumed it was a desperate struggle to live.

He was wrong.

The girl pointed precisely at her own heart.

As though asking him to finish it in a single strike.

Her eyes had no focus.

She could no longer even shed tears.

Every part of her begged for death.

Blood from the little girl’s hand dripped along the spearhead.

“Luri believes Lord Silverwind was the one who took her in.”

“That is true, is it not? Without Lord Silverwind’s permission, none of us could have taken her in on our own authority.”

“You are right.”

But Lance remembered clearly.

“The reason that child is alive is because you begged for her life.”

“……”

Lance had lived a long life, and he had remained beside Goz for even longer than most.

He remembered that day perfectly.

Goz Silverwind, the Great Warrior without blood or tears.

The man who embodied Silverwind’s iron law that survival itself was proof of strength, because every mission entrusted to him was completed without fail.

There had been one occasion when that man acted unlike a warrior.

He brought back a survivor from a mission whose orders explicitly stated there were to be none.

He brought the girl before Silverwind with her wounds bound in cloth to stop the bleeding.

That Goz had thought, instead of simply obeying Silverwind’s command, and begged so that someone else might live.

It was the moment Lance had smelled humanity beneath all the ash clinging to Goz.

“What would I gain by correcting it? Do you want us to clear up the misunderstanding and live harmoniously as family?”

“……”

“Even if my plea was what kept that child alive, I was also the one who drove her to the edge of the cliff. The only person she could lean on was Silverwind, and Silverwind is dead now.”

“……”

“This should end as nothing more than a game caused by my immaturity.”

Even Goz did not fully understand why he had saved her back then.

He only knew it must have originated from a past he had abandoned long ago.

To live as a Dragon Spawn meant discarding one’s past and devoting everything to one’s god.

That was why he could only describe the act as immaturity.

And that immaturity was not unique to him.

The descendants of Silverwind learned that after capturing one of the demonic creatures known as Trauma.

A Trauma dredged up the past that had accumulated and sunk deep beneath the passage of years, exposing the weakness that existed before they became warriors.

Even Silverwind’s descendants, chosen from among the bravest warriors, could not escape it.

Neither could Goz.

Through Trauma, he discovered that he too had something he regretted.

“I am merely someone who turns a weak human into a warrior.”

He had turned one little girl into a warrior.

“There is no value beyond that.”

It was already too late to turn back.

Goz drank down the past.

* * *

After returning to Baldrova Castle, Luri stopped before the entrance.

She had lived here for a long time, yet at that moment the place felt strangely unfamiliar.

Since she began working in this castle, had she ever been away for so long?

‘Should I apologize first when I go back?’

No.

Someone returning from a vacation and immediately apologizing would be strange.

There was no reason to feel guilty.

All she needed to do was show everyone that she had rested well and returned safely.

Act as naturally as possible.

As though nothing had happened.

As though everything were the same as always.

Luri repeated the image in her head as she entered through the main gate.

“I’m ba…”

BOOOOM!!!

An explosion powerful enough to shake the floor erupted nearby.

It was more than enough to destroy every bit of her mental rehearsal.

“What in the world is…”

“Marquis Burnell oppaaaaa!!”

Before she could even finish the question, an unfamiliar voice screamed from somewhere ahead.

Someone came flying out from that direction.

A blue-haired man.

Marquis Burnell.

“AAAAAGH! You crazy woman! Stop chasing me! I blocked it just like you asked, didn’t I?!”

“Block it just one more time!! The calibration was only a tiiiiiiny bit off before!! Please!? This time I can definitely kill you!!”

Burnell was being chased by a painfully thin woman.

A woman who looked as though she had escaped from an asylum was rampaging through the castle, and no one was stopping her.

No.

No one could stop her.

Luri understood the situation immediately.

At that moment, someone noticed her and greeted her.

“Ah, H-Head Maid Luri, you’re ba…”

“Where is he?”

“Pardon?”

A shadow fell over Luri’s face.

Her expression sharpened like blue-forged steel as she asked again.

“Where is Ferda, that damned Regent, right now?”

Luri Silverwind.

Returned home.